Clitoris-Rex.

All of a sudden, last Friday - the Christmas Spirit hit me like a snowball to the ear. Due to this sudden burst of holiday cheer, I decided that I needed to go to the Mega Cavern and see the Lights Under Louisville. I figured since I was going no matter what, I might as well take a car load of kids with me to share the awesomeness of the millions of Christmas Lights. I immediately called my best friend and my boyfriend, and rallied up some kid troops.

On Saturday, we loaded up and took off to Louisville. We stopped at McDonald's to fill our bellies, then we had to make a quick stop at the mall to grab some last minute presents before we went to see the lights. We decided to use the moment of silence as they ate to lay down the law. Jdale, being the great disciplinarian that she is, took charge. "Now, you little turds listen up. When we get in this mall, all three of you are gonna have to pipe down and stay close. It will be very easy for us to get separated and for you to get lost or kidnapped. Don't make me have to karate chop every one of ya, because I will!"

Damion says: "Okay."

Abby says: "Okay."

Hunter says: "If someone tries to take me, I'm gonna kick him in the balls."

Jdale, being proud of her son for having a solid stranger danger plan of action, nods and says: "Good plan...but what if its a woman?"

Hunter replies: "I'm gonna kick her in the clitoris."

At this point, I've managed to suck a whole fry down my throat and almost choke to death. Jdale is laughing hysterically and can hardly breathe. I'm thinking that at 9 years old, if he knows that word, he should probably think it's a dinosaur. Hunter's face turns red, as he's realizes that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have said that word. Jdale snaps her head around to look him in the eye and asks: "son, what in the world do YOU know about a clitoris?!"

Hunter, not to be made to look dumb or embarrassed any further, tells us matter of factually: "I know that it looks like a butt, and it goes like this..." He takes his finger and draws a curved line in the air and goes "muuuuuuuuurrrrrrrpppppp".

We both let out a sigh of relief that this child really didn't know what a clitoris was, that he had just randomly spat out the word because he's that cool. Not knowing if it was appropriate to give the boy an anatomy lesson of that nature, we just let it ride...all the way to the mall, where they all stayed close and no one got kidnapped.